The Return
by SuperGroverAway
Summary: A familiar face shows up one dark, stormy evening at the Mystery Shack, with only one think burning on his mind...revenge.


The rain poured from the near-pitch black clouds in thick sheets, pounding the Mystery Shack relentlessly and turning its dirt parking lot into a muddy quagmire. Such fierce weather of course meant that few, if any visitors would be stopping by to look at the peculiar establishment's array of weird and crude attractions. In other words, the scene couldn't have been any more perfect.

A few saturated bushes rustled, and a pair of piercing blue eyes gazed over at Gravity Fall's local tourist trap. As he surveyed his target, the camouflaged figure couldn't help but let out a fiendish giggle of delight. Soon it would be time to strike.

Soon, sweet vengeance would be his.

* * *

"...Seven! One...two...three...four...five...six...whop! Seven!"

The preteen girl clapped her hands excitedly once she saw where her Monopoly game piece had landed. "Illinois Avenue! I'm buying it!"

"All right." The banker handed over the appropriate card as she passed him a small wad of brightly colored play-cash. Dipper took a couple moments to make the appropriate change. "So that's sixty back, and-HEY!"

He turned around just in time to watch his sister plop down a handcrafted paper house that immediately took up almost the entire space. "Okaaay...so just what is that supposed to be?"

"Mabel's Home for Abandoned Kittens and Wayward Ducklings!" She beamed proudly. "You can stay for the night if you pass by too but'll cost you. Three hundred bucks!"

Dipper rolled his eyes and tried to sweep it off the board. "Mabel-"

"Uh-uh! Mine!" She bat his hand out of the way. As the siblings began to clash over game rules, Wendy just hugged her legs and snickered in shameless delight. One of the benefits of hanging out with them was that she was always treated to at least one sibling showdown.

"I keep telling you, that's not how it works. First you buy all the properties in a color group, and then you can put down your hotels. Also you can't make your own hotels, or...whatever that is." Dipper fruitlessly tried to explain, while she brushed off the bombardments of reminders with cheery ease.

"It's my property so I can do whatever I like. See?" Mabel shoved the card in his face. "Money was exchanged, I have the deed, so now it's a thousand percent legal!"

"Those. Aren't. The _rules_." He persisted doggedly, and gained nothing more than a wet raspberry from her.

"Nyah! You just can't stand the fact that I'm..." She leapt to her feet and struck a triumphant pose. "Mabel Pines, real estate mogul!"

"...All right, so can you tell me what a mogul is?" Dipper asked, and was immediately struck in the forehead by a handful of bright yellow tens. Quickly he reached into his own cash pile and returned fire.

"Talk that!" She laughed as she dodged a hail of fives. "I just bought out all of your know-it-all-ness!"

Between the silly fuss raised by the twins, Wendy's uncontainable laughter, and the pitter of water dripping from the ceiling leaks above into an assortment of strategically place pots and pans, no one could hear the clunk of a ladder being set against the side of the house. Just outside, their unseen stalker clung to the upper rungs and waited as patiently as a wildcat on the hunt. Suddenly a jagged bolt of lightning ripped across the sky, giving him just the spectacular moment he was hoping for. He hastily dug a stone from his pocket and hurled it through the triangular attic window.

An earsplitting crash filled the room, and shards of glass rained down onto the floor. Teen and preteens bolted to their feet with startled yells. Drenched to the bone and splattered with mud, the portly invader, sent droplets and dirty flecks alike flying when he hit the floor with a loud thud. Once he recovered from his landing, the boy stood up, brushed off his bright orange pants and shirt, and let out a familiar high pitched laugh that sent shivers racing down everyone's spines.

"Well, hello there." He greeted, running his fingers through an ivory-white tower of hair. Psychotic fiend or not, there were no denying that he still definitely knew what it took to make a memorable entrance. "Did y'all miss lil' ol' me?"

"...Gideon?" Dipper muttered incredulously. Recognition hit them with the force of a cannonball. Never would any of them have expected to see his scheming visage so soon again, and justifiably so.

"Surprised, arentcha boy?" The one and only Gideon Gleeful snickered.

"Y-you're not supposed to be here." All too mindful of the hideously creepy crush he had harbored for her, Mabel instinctively took cover behind her twin with a whimper. "You're not supposed to be here at all. You're...you're supposed to be-"

"Tch, tch, tch. Dear sweet Mabel, do you really think juvie could hold me?" His sickeningly sweet tone made her stomach instinctively knot in revulsion. "Not that it didn't take a bit of work, but in the end, it wasn't too much for lil' Gideon couldn't handle."

The preteen girl whined nauseously and buried her face in her brother's shoulder. Dipper quickly got over his initial surprise, and was no one high alert. He raised his arms protectively and flashed a hateful scowl. "What do you want?"

"Oh, nothing much. I'm simply being a man of my word. After all, I told you I'd be back, and sooooo..." His eyes twinkled brightly, and he spread his arms for dramatic effect. "Here I am, ready to tie up a couple loose ends."

Always one for theatrics, Gideon's roly-poly body started to quake all over as he erupted with fiendish laughter. "And I'm starting off with you! Do you Pines really think that you were through with me? Well, then you've made the biggest mistake of your miserable lives! You can never, ever, ever beat Gideon Gleeful! Oh you may have some luck and get the upper hand now and then, but's it always just a matter of time until victory is eventually mine! It's not a question of 'if,' but 'when,' for my triumph is always inevitable! I'll finally get you out of the way, and once that's been done, then the secrets of this miserable shack shall be mine! All mine! Y'all hear? All..."

His Oscar-worthy monologuing was interrupted when Dipper took a good, long look at the short, sopping wet boy and quickly realized something. Cocking his head confusedly, the twelve-year-old demanded, "Okay, so...what exactly are you going to do now?"

"I-" The disgraced child psychic had gone dead-quiet. It would seem that in his furious pursuit to meet up with those he had sworn vengeance upon, he had forgotten a few critical details. A painfully awkward silence quickly settled upon the room as his mind began to race. Meanwhile expressions that his foes were wearing went from shocked, then to confused, and downright annoyed. In the blink of an eye, he had become as threatening as a yapping terrier.

"So...do you have like...I dunno, anything?" Wendy sighed and gestured impatiently. It had suddenly become very hard to believe that he of all people had nearly taken over the Mystery Shack.

"I...I could...I-I..." Beads of nervous sweat began to shine brightly on his pale, pudgy forehead. "I...I...oh I got something good! Yeah, uh...y'know me, whenever we clash, I'm a force to be reckoned with! I-"

"You have no money, no goons, and no robot...no robot-whatever that was supposed to be last time. And no book." Dipper bluntly pointed out. Not only had the anxious quaver long since vanished from his tone, but the corners of his lip had begun to curl into an amused smirk. This was actually funny, in a monumentally pathetic way.."Did you think this through at all?"

"Uh..." Gideon anxiously tugged on his shirt collar. Despite his best efforts, he was drawing a total mental blank. "Of course I did. I-I...I'm still your greatest nightmare...just you wait and I'll...erm...I'll..."

"Oh, you stupid creepface!" Now that the sad truth was as clear as day, Mabel's confidence quickly returned. "You really had to interrupt our game for this? Really?"

"I-"

"This is stupid. You're stupid!" She grabbed a couple plastic hotels off the board and sprayed him with a hail of plastic. "Nice job being the worst!"

Becomingly increasingly frantic with each passing moment, he desperately snapped back. "Y'all are gonna git it, I-I swear! I'm gonna...uh...gonna..."

Pathetically low on options, Gideon let out a loud howl before he made a mad charge across the bedroom. Unfortunately, by now he had long since lost the elements of surprise, fear, and literally everything else that would have made him menacing in slightest. On top of that, the flight from juvenile hall ensured that he didn't even have much energy left. With a chagrined sigh, Dipper stepped forward and brought the pudgy boy to an undignified halt.

"Mmmf! Ngghh! C'mere! C'mere!" Gideon swatted and punched at the empty air as the twelve-year-old held him at arm's length with surprising ease. Mabel brightened as she got an idea. She let out a low whistle before darting around, and her twin caught on in a heartbeat. Once she had crouched down on her hands and knees, Dipper gave a hard push. Gideon was immediately sent tumbling backwards onto the ground with a dismayed squeal.

"You...you think that's gonna be enough?" TIny streams of sweat were now trickling down his brow as he clambered back up onto stubby legs. "I'm Gideon Gleeful, living star! If I can almost harness power beyond your feeble imaginations, then you bet your sorry lives that I'll do it again! And you..."

By now the act was more pitiful than anything else. The others just gawked on, completely unimpressed until Wendy was struck by inspiration. Eagerly she gestured to her younger friends with a chuckle. "Hey guys..."

They huddled for a quick conference, and soon the suggested course of action was enthusiastically approved. Wicked smiles quickly immediately went up all around as they turned around and advanced as a group upon the raving boy.

"...And you'll rue the day that you first crossed me! Y'all hear? You will curse the moment that you decided that...wait...wait, why are you...HEY!" Gideon yelped as the twins seized hold of his arms and hung on tightly. Instinctively he began to thrash and squirm like a boy possessed, but his fate was already sealed. Snickering uncontrollably, the redheaded teenage sauntered around, and reached for the bit of white waistband peeking out over his pants.

"One, two..." Wendy's arm fired back like a piston as she yanked hard on his underwear. Gideon immediately went silent, save for a hoarse whine that escape his lips. As his watering eyes bulged out to size of tennis balls, he unceremoniously keeled over. Twins and teenager all grinned triumphantly at one another as their foe lay vanquished on the floor.

"Stink-brain." Mabel gave him a quick kick to the backside. He let out a grunt of discomfort, and she clapped her hands with shameless delight. "All right, so now what do we do with him?"

Dipper thoughtfully tapped the brim of his cap as he looked around the room. "Hmmm...okay, you know what? Someone go grab one of the bedsheets..."

* * *

Down below in the den, Stan Pines had been trying his best to ignore the curious racket coming from upstairs. He had tried chalking it up to just some unusually loud rainy day roughhousing, but it felt like things had gotten particularly rambunctious in the last few minutes. Thankfully, the din had stopped, and for a moment it he thought that he could finally continue watching his shows in peace. However, not only did a fresh clamor start up only seconds later, but unless his ears were playing tricks on him, it all seemed to be getting closer.

_THUNK_.

"Ow!"

_THUNK_.

"Ow!"

_THUNK_.

"Ow!"

At wits end, Stan sat up in his old yellow recliner and yelled angrily. "_KIDS_! What the heck are you doing up there?"

The three finished descending the stairs and popped into view. Together Dipper and Wendy dragged along an improvised bundle that kicked, thrashed, and squealed like fury. Grinning toothily, Mabel shot over to her great-uncle's side before the startled old man could react.

"Grunkle Stan! Grunkle Staaaaan! We were playing a game, but then Gideon came in, and he was all 'Rawwrrr, lookit me, I'm the world's stupidest psycho ever!' But then we stopped him because he's also dumb, and now we got him in a bag so it's all okay now." After squeaking out their story in just one breath, she clutched her hands and smiled sweetly at the thoroughly bemused fellow.

"Huh? What do you mean..." As the initial confusion settled in, he reached for a magazine and shuffled over to the improvised sack. He looked it over, have it a hard swat, and the captured delinquent yowled loudly in pain.

"Stop that! Think y'all have won? It's not over! It's NEVER over! Mark my words, I'll show you! I'll show you all, and when I do..." Gideon ranted like a maniac, but failed to arouse a scrap of dismay from Stan. Like the young ones, the old man merely seemed annoyed at best.

"Oh for cryin' out loud! Him again? Yeesh, and just when my shows come on." He rolled his eyes and barked loudly. "Soos! Hey, Soos!"

"Yeah, Mr. Pines?" The portly Shack employee hustled onto the scene, ready for orders. Stan nodded over to the bundle as he reached for the phone.

"Go take this outside. I'll get someone to pick him up." He commanded, as if it were nothing more than a sack of trash to be disposed of. As Stan dialed the phone, Soos happily saluted and did as bid, never questioning why he was suddenly dragging out what was clearly a living, breathing human being, and an incredibly familiar-sounding one at that.

"...And I'll say it again, you miserable scallawags! You still haven't heard the last of me! Y'hear? You haven't heard the last of me-OUCH! Watch it!"

Raving and spitting, the miniature maniac was unceremoniously hauled off Dipper watched along with the others until the boy was dragged from both sight in earshot, then scratched his neck and remarked bewilderedly, "Is it me, or was that more sad than anything?"

"You got my vote." Wendy chimed in, sounding almost bored as she added, "Think that's the last of him?"

Mabel quickly planted on a mischievous smile. Now that the crazed distraction was gone, it was high time for them to tend to far more important matters.

"Well, if he's thinking about coming back...then I hope he does it after I'm done kicking both your stupid butts!" Giggling happily, the completely unfazed young girl whirled around and darted upstairs. "First one back to the room wins a Get Out of Jail Free Card!"

Mabel filled the stairway with the sounds of squeaky glee as she zipped off, with the others following hot in tow.

"Fine, but not more stupid homes for missing ducklings or whatever!" Dipper called. Wendy grinned and cheekily made a counteroffer.

"Or, two hundred bucks if you make a sweet pad for me on Baltic Avenue!" She snorted as Dipper playfully tried to swat her with his cap.

"Don't you dare encourage her!" Laughter continued to echo in their wake as together the trio eagerly returned to a stormy evening of silly fun.

The joyous atmosphere that had returned inside the shack was quite the stark contrast from the pitiful scene outside. The rain had let up a little, but that hardly made things any more pleasant for a certain young boy as he lay out by the front door. Gideon was still hopelessly snagged in the improvised sack, which was not only sopping wet but was also securely weighed down by several garbage cans. As he was forced to wait for the proper authorities to cart him off, the revenge-starved lad continued to raise hell to an audience of zero.

"...Y'all think you're just so smart, do you? Fools! Fools all of you! Underestimate me all you like, but you're only deluding yourselves! It's just a matter of time, y'hear? My day WILL come! My day will..."

A screech of breaks and the nearby crackle of a police radio signaled that he would be leaving soon. Drenched to the bone and still smarting down below the belt, he started to accept his fate with a resigned sigh.

"I hope they get me back by six...they're serving rice pudding for dessert tonight..."


End file.
